Happy Birthday to Me

This morning I listened to one of my old What’s in Your Cup Podcast episodes, Half a Century Young. This episode was recorded 3 years ago on my 50^th birthday and was a great opportunity to reflect on the past few years.

How happy I sounded about life and the positive attitude I took on turning 50. Then how quickly my mind switched into reflections of current times, and I immediately became disappointed with

personal life today. The feeling of spinning in circles unable to find motivation in the daily. A sense of Self-pity in some of the worst ways. Sure, on the outside I was selling a happy life but, on the inside, it feels like I’m on a river without a paddle.

I wanted to stop listening in disappointment and just before I reached to turn it off, I came to the reflection of a visit we took to California to see and celebrate some of my oldest friends, also turning 50 that year. Wayne’s take was the concern of the amount of time that is left and Chris asking himself, have I accomplished everything I thought I would have accomplished by this age. Both thoughts stopped me in my tracks, how had I lost my vigor?

As I continued to listen, I reflected on the past 3 years and all that has happened in life and at that moment I realized, God continues to put me right where I’m needed. It’s not hard to find things to complain about, get frustrated or feeling defeated…if that is what you go looking for. However, when you decide to take a different approach, you can find many more things to be thankful for.

In the last 3 years, I lost my mother-in-law, my father and my sister-in-law had a life altering stroke and that’s a lot of personal grief to handle among other things. In those same 3 years, our son moved back locally, our daughter came home from Florida and brought us the best grandson. Our oldest son married his best friend, and I was honored to officiate their wedding and amongst all I was blessed with the time to be present in all of it.

As I round out today, my 53^rd birthday, I am thankful for all of it. The personal hardships that helped me grow and the many more things to celebrate over the past 3 years.

Oh, and that feeling of disappointment I had at the beginning of my day, it was real but not lasting because I have way more things to celebrate.

Cheers to another trip around the sun.